


Seven Nights

by dunshiine



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Blurryface Era, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Heavy Petting, Insomnia, Internalized Homophobia, Love, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 20:24:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18483718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunshiine/pseuds/dunshiine
Summary: Tyler has had nights like this before. Nights of staring blankly at the wall, of his whole body rigid as he tries to hold himself together, of listening to those terrible thoughts run through his brain, of crying in frustration. He hasn’t had them for a long time, though. And when it doesn’t go away after a night he begins to worry that it’ll be another bout of months and months of going on nearly no sleep. He’s not sure he can handle it. Is it the sleep deprivation that’s causing him to look at his best friend differently than before? Or is this something that’s been hiding for a while?Or:Tyler has a bout of bad insomnia and Josh is there to help, told over the course of seven nights.





	Seven Nights

Night One

 

“Tyler,” The voice broke through the deafening quiet of the hotel room. Tyler, curled up on the sleeper sofa in the front part of the hotel room, looked over at the door. Josh was standing halfway in the door, holding onto both door handles. His hair was a neon beacon in the backlit doorway. Tyler’s heart started to thrum faster, waves of that familiar panicky feeling of anxiety washed over him as he saw his best friend looking concerned. He didn’t want to worry anyone, he didn’t want to keep Josh up. He may have already come back to the hotel  early from his night out to check on him and that was too much already. 

“Mark said you were still awake,” Josh fidgeted with the door handles, still only half in the room, unsure about whether or not he was needed or wanted. Josh always kept Tyler’s spare key and vice versa, it was just easier. “and I guess I just wanted to make sure you were good.” He finished.

“I’m fine, just...you know.” Tyler didn’t want to elaborate and he didn’t really have to. Josh  _ did _ know. He knew exactly how hard it could be for Tyler to get to sleep. It just hadn’t happened in a while. No, this was only one night of tossing and turning, this didn’t mean anything for future nights. Everyone had nights where they just couldn’t get comfortable.  _ This is different,  _ a voice spoke in his head.

“Yeah,” Josh still seemed unsure. He took a half a step into the room, “I can stay, if you want.” He said, letting the door swing shut behind him.  Tyler looked at the drummer, he was still dressed but even in the dimly lit room he could tell Josh was ready to fall into his bed. Tyler rubbed his eyes, trying to stave off their itching and the irritation at Josh for sounding worried. 

“Nah, man. Go to bed. I’m good.” He made a show of relaxing a little on the sofa and reaching for the remote as if he was going to turn the television on. As if that would help. As if he could be lulled to sleep at all now.

“Ty-”

“Josh, I’m good. Seriously. Go to bed.” 

Josh studied him for a moment and Tyler felt like he was in a play or something, being watched by an audience who was judging whether he was playing the role “Normal Tyler” well enough. There was quiet for a moment and Josh must have decided there was no arguing with him because he turned back to the door. 

“Alright, see you in the morning.” 

“Night, Jishwa.” Tyler was using the nickname as if to drive home the fact that he was totally okay. Tyler listened for the door to close and immediately curled back into himself, staring absently at the blank TV.  This wasn’t one of those random nights where he flopped around on bed and couldn’t get comfortable. There was none of the too hot, too cold, one leg out, one leg in, pillow over head, “I gotta stop drinking Redbull”, keep checking phone, business. No. That was normal. This was not normal. This reminded him too vividly of other places, other lifetimes, other Tylers. He shivered and his brain whirred a mile a minute, he tried to quiet it with an old phrase, familiar on his tongue. “Turn off. Turn off. Turn off. Turn off.” 

Tyler slept for two hours and eleven minutes that night. 

  
  
  
  


Night Two

 

A migraine, complete with spots in his vision debilitated Tyler the next night and stopped him from joining in any of the typical post-show festivities. And even in a pitch black room with the blanket tucked carefully over his head Tyler didn’t sleep. Unknown to him it was already three AM, minutes after the hour the door cracked open. Josh knew better than to try and talk to him, so he crept into the room and over to the bed, avoiding the upturned suitcase and clothes that Tyler had haphazardly thrown off in a desperate attempt to get comfortable. Josh was relieved to see the still form under the sheets, but that relief was momentary because his friend shifted and tugged the blankets down to look at Josh.

“Your hair hurts my eyes.”

“Everything hurts your eyes right now,” Josh reasoned. 

“Go awaaaaaaaay!” Tyler whined, covering his face back up with the blanket. 

“I just wanted to see if you’ve slept.” 

“Leave me alone.” Josh sighed and Tyler felt the bed shift and Josh’s weight sinking the bed next to him. He wasn’t leaving but Tyler couldn’t find the energy to talk anymore so they were both quiet. Josh was fine with that, he just hated the idea of leaving Tyler to suffer alone. He didn’t know if Tyler appreciated Josh  sitting next to him on the bed in silence but Josh needed to convince himself that Tyler was okay. Maybe if he sat there for long enough Tyler would relax a little or better yet, fall asleep and Josh could breathe a little easier. Tyler didn’t know for how long Josh sat there, he was somewhere else, and unfortunately it wasn’t asleep. He found himself repeating those words again, “Turn off. Turn off. Turn off. Turn off.” Josh heard him mumbling and hoped he might have been talking in his sleep. But knowing Tyler, he wasn’t. 

Tyler slept for an one hour and thirty minutes that night.

 

Night Three

 

It was harder to hide from the world on the third night because they were on the tour bus, doing an overnight drive. Mark and Josh were both sleeping on this bus tonight, probably because they sensed that Tyler shouldn’t be trapped on a bus alone for a whole night drive.  This was when the frustration kicked in. Tyler paced the bus, from the bunks, through the kitchenette, to the couches and back. He watched all the clocks on each appliance tick slowly towards four AM. Why did every appliance have to have a clock!? Even Josh’s stupid coffee maker had a clock showing him how little he was sleeping when he needed sleep the most. He never wanted to exercise, but now all he could think to do was power walk up and down the bus. 

The days had gotten harder, Tyler downed Redbull like it was water, snapped at everyone, and had been caught staring off into space way more often than usual. He wasn’t used to not sleeping anymore. Back when it had been months of on and off insomnia he had gotten used to it. His body had accepted it and had adjusted accordingly. Not that it had been good or even okay, but he hadn’t been lashing out and feeling like he was going to puke all the time. Now that he had gotten to know Good Sleep, dated Good Sleep for a while, got serious with Good Sleep, and was comfortable with her, he had started to take her for granted. Maybe that was why Sleep had broken up with him and kicked his butt to the curb. Or maybe this was his over tired brain was making nonsense up. He kept thinking about how he kind of wanted to bash his head against a wall until he passed out. He was fantasizing about hurting himself enough to get some sleep. It would work, wouldn’t it? And wasn’t sleep one of those things that begets more of itself? Sleep begets sleep? 

He hadn’t realized it while he had been lost in his thought but he had stopped moving and instead was standing weirdly in the middle of the bus, feeling it rumbling underneath him. It was a surprise that the movements hadn’t knocked him over. He reached up and rubbed his eyes, hard, seeing the typical stars and colors burst forth behind his closed eyes. He had been lusting after knocking himself unconscious and had lost track of his movements. He needed to relax. He let out a breath and turned around to stagger to a seat when he noticed Josh standing in the entryway to the portion of the bus with the bunks. Josh was just in his little boxer briefs and Tyler could see the sleep in his eyes, God, he wanted that sleep for himself. His mouth went a little dry as he looked at Josh standing there in front of him. Was his belly tightening at the look of a person who got to sleep? Was it at that point where he almost could live vicariously through a close friend who could sleep? Or was it something to do with the way the muscles in Josh’s chest and stomach flexed as he stretched. 

“Dude, are you sleepwalking?” Josh asked. 

“If I was sleepwalking would you really expect me to be like, ‘Yes, Josh, I am currently asleep.’?” Tyler asked, his voice snarky but not intentionally mean. Josh’s tired face broke into a smile.

“No. But you were kind of freaking me out. You were just standing there and you weren’t moving for like...way too long.” Josh explained. “Maybe you did fall asleep for a second.” he added. Tyler was shaking his head and trying to blink back the momentary weirdness he had felt. Josh must have noticed because he walked over and took his arm, “Why don’t we sit down for a second, okay?” 

“Sounds good.” Tyler breathed, Josh helped him sink down onto one of the couches. Tyler let out a breath and stared straight ahead. He felt rigid and his hands almost shook when he moved them too much. “Turn off. Turn off. Turn off.” 

“What’s a turn off?” Josh tried to joke, looking down at his friend. Tyler actually smiled at that. When Tyler smiled it was like ice cracking, the near constant tension in his face breaking and allowing a smile to bubble up to the surface like water through ice. 

“Feet.” Tyler answered honestly. 

“Good, I always wondered if you had a foot fetish.” Josh said, nodding. Their usual joking cadence felt good, familiar, normal. It was easy to sink into it. Josh felt Tyler physically relax, his shoulders dropped slightly, and his breathing became a little deeper and fuller.  

Josh had met Tyler in a dark portion of his life, he had been with him through the darkest places and Tyler had been with him through his own problems. Not much would phase Josh now but it didn’t mean that he didn’t worry. He worried that those months where Tyler had been a shell of himself would come back, he worried that it would be worse, and the worst, most selfish worry of all- that Tyler would decide he didn’t need Josh anymore. That he would move on from this portion of his life and Josh would be stuck in it. 

Tyler was quiet for a long time and Josh clung to the hope that he was sleeping, but he was too afraid to look, to say anything or breathe really. But of his own accord Tyler shifted, wanting to feel the steadiness of Josh next to him. Tyler’s head sank and found the crook of Josh’s neck, resting cheek to shoulder. 

“Jish-” Josh could hear the joking cadence in Tyler’s voice again but it was subtler 

“Hm?” 

“Nevermind.” 

Tyler slept for one hour and forty-nine minutes on Josh’s shoulder that night. 

 

Night four

Tyler had tried to give up redbull the next day. He told himself he’d be able to make it through getting to the hotel, load in, soundcheck, and a whole show without any caffeine and then he’d collapse into bed and the cycle would be broken. Instead, he fell asleep backstage while the crew worked to load everything into the venue. He slept for two hours before their tour manager came looking for him to get him up. When they worked their way, tedious and slow, through soundcheck and he had to stop to yawn, or lean over, clinging to the microphone, it became very clear that no caffeine wasn’t feasible. He had a Redbull and worked through it. 

Josh insisted that the nap in the afternoon was exactly what he needed but Tyler was morose at the thought of the night to come. He had one more Redbull right before the show. A win, considering it was a drastic decrease from the day before. He intentionally stayed up for a while with Josh, playing video games so that things felt normal and there was less pressure on getting to sleep right away. They played Mario Kart, and Super Smash Bros, talking a little about the show, the next city they were in and what they could do with their upcoming day off. It wasn’t long after the conversation turned to the girl Josh had been hanging out with back in LA that Tyler decided he should leave for the night. He told Josh it was because he was trying to create a relaxing night routine to help with the sleep thing. Josh was still confused by the abrupt end to their night, saying he had liked talking to him and missed spending ‘bro time’ together. Tyler left irritated at Josh for not understanding, irritated that he just wanted to talk about himself and some girl. He told himself that that was why he was irritated, nothing else. He told himself he only left because he wanted to establish his night routine and that was it. 

Tyler had never been one for routines, but maybe if he created a relaxing pre-bed routine he’d feel better and like he could relax. Maybe it would turn off the thoughts, maybe it would shoo away the bad dreams and the constant yammering in his brain. So he turned on relaxing music, brushed his teeth, turned the shower on and let it get piping hot before getting undressed. When he was in the shower he let the hot water soak him through, easing some of the tension his neck and shoulders. He washed his hair, taking his time rubbing the shampoo into his hair and massaging his scalp. 

He let his mind wander instead of hyper focusing on the supposed relaxation. He thought about the band he was listening to, the smooth way the voice blended with acoustic guitar, then the tiny thwap of bass, tinkling piano or keyboard maybe, drums-wait… was there no drums? Did this band even have a drummer? He tried to think of what he knew of them but couldn’t remember if they played with or without a drummer. Drums would round out the sound of this song.  The song could benefit from drums, the whole band could benefit from a good drummer. Everyone could benefit from a good drummer.  _ Drummer _ . The word was losing meaning in his own mind. Josh was a good drummer.  _ Josh _ . Tyler was leaning back against the cool wall of the shower, the water, too hot, was reddening the skin on his chest. Josh was a great drummer really. A great drummer and a better friend. He sighed at the thought of his best friend. How did he end up lucky enough to have a friend who checked on him so consistently when he was like this? He reached up and rubbed at his itchy eyes. 

As Josh weaved in and out of his thoughts he smiled at the memory of the night before, the warm steadiness of Josh next to him on the couch in the bus. The way he stayed so still while Tyler pressed his cheek to his shoulder. Ah, his shoulder...when did Josh get so muscular? Since when did Tyler care about his best friends muscles? He had thought of his muscles twice in the span of two days...usually friends didn’t think like that about their friends. Was he jealous of how fit Josh had gotten? Maybe. He should start running. Maybe that would help this sleep thing. Maybe Josh could run with him.  _ Maybe you just like the look of his muscles.  _ The voice in his head sounded taunting.  _ You’ve thought about his muscles before these last two days too. You’ve stared while he was drumming.  _  Even though he was alone, with no one to hear that stupid voice in his head except himself, Tyler’s cheeks turned red.  _ Shut up,  _ he told himself.  _ These aren’t relaxing thoughts. _ The shower was still hot and the room was fully steaming up now. His chest seemed to be less tense than it had been before.  _ Are they not?  _ Tyler’s hands shook as he took the soap off of the ledge in the shower and started to try and focus on washing himself. Maybe letting his mind wander had been a bad idea, because now he couldn’t get the thought of Josh last night, shirtless, warm, comforting, out of his head. 

Tyler let out a breath as he realized he had gotten hard, standing in the shower and letting his mind get away from him. It was purely a bodily reaction that had no connection to these thoughts about Josh, at least that’s what he told himself over and over again. But somewhere in the back of his head, that mocking voice told him that this had happened before, and happened about Josh.  _ Josh.  _ Tyler moved his hand down his stomach, almost under the pretense of washing it. His fingers felt the coarseness of his pubic hair and then the pretense was gone but the excuses weren’t. He was doing it to relax, it would help him sleep and it had nothing to do with the thoughts he was having, even though the thoughts didn’t stop as he gripped his cock and ran his fingers up and down it. 

He leaned heavier against the wall, hot water dripping down his front and the tile cooling his sweaty back. His fingers tightened a little over his shaft as he started to touch himself in earnest. Then it was like the thoughts wouldn’t stop, he thought of Josh drumming, he wondered if he really did stare at Josh on stage while he drummed. Deep down he knew that he did. Drumming... Josh’s arms flexing as he beat steadily on the drums and sweat pouring off of his taut body. Tyler’s hand pumped faster and his mouth fell open to try to find a steady breath. 

The warmth of Josh’s shoulder under his cheek last night. The feeling of those nights long ago, in almost a different lifetime, when they slept in the same bed and ended up snuggled into each other. How his best friends legs looked when he tugged his pants off and how he used to do it so casually in front of Tyler. He longed for those days again, the days in one hotel room and a tiny van. His heart thudded hard in his chest and the more he thought of Josh the faster his hand moved. He could feel his release building in his stomach and in his chest. His brow furrowed, he sucked his lower lip into his mouth and let out a grunt. He ran his thumb over the head of his cock, feeling the sticky drops of pre-cum. It spurred him on and his hand squeezed and moved desperately quicker. The motions were familiar but the thoughts were new, he hadn’t done this to thoughts like this before. Or...maybe he had? In the fog of a steamy bathroom and the lust that was making his bones feel like jello he couldn’t remember anymore. 

His unoccupied hand was pressed back against the wall he was leaned into, bracing him there as his legs felt weak. “Oh...oh…” His breath came out in a moan and he stifled it by sucking his lip into his mouth, chewing it to shreds. What if Josh had done something similar to this, thinking of Tyler? What if he had stood in the bathroom and his hand had found his own cock and and and--the thought broke off in his mind because the very beginning of the thought tipped him over the edge and his orgasm ripped through him. He nearly doubled over as his cock twitched, coming partially onto his own hand with some of it landing on the floor, immediately being washed away by the torrent of shower water. Tyler squeezed his cock through the orgasm and then let out a gasp. 

His breathing went from slightly labored to ragged as a swell of emotion burned through his chest. Ecstasy, embarrassment, relief, shame, loneliness and anger all bubbled into existence and it couldn’t all be kept in. Tears pricked his eyes and the ragged breath got harder as a sob choked him. He couldn’t stand anymore and he slid down the wall to the ground. The hot water pounded the top of his head. He sobbed, his eyes burning, his body begging for sleep. “Fuck!” he let himself say the word for the first time in so, so long. It felt strange to curse but also good with the sobs. That was his best friend he had been imagining. He had been sexualizing Josh and turning him into masturbation fodder when he was fairly convinced Josh was entirely straight. Wasn’t he, himself supposed to be entirely straight!? Yes. He was. It was a fluke. All of this. He sat there, rubbing his arms too tightly, almost bruisingly until the water finally started to cool. When that happened he stood and wrapped up in a towel. He fixed his hair and picked out another relaxing band to listen to, trying to pretend he could still go through his relaxing bedtime routine. 

He glanced at the clock as he left the bathroom, nearly three AM. It was okay. He hadn’t even tried to sleep yet. Maybe the masturbation and the crying had been release enough to lull him off. He got himself into bed and curled up under a layer of blankets and for the first time since this cycle of terrible sleep had began, he felt hopeful.

But six AM found Tyler, red eyed, staring at a television but not really seeing it at all. Sleep might come, but it would be brief and would provide no relief, he was sure of this now. 

Tyler slept for one hour and six minutes that night, reminding himself that it isn’t chronic insomnia until it was three months of this. 

 

Night Five

Josh tried to stay on top of everything that Tyler usually did but Josh wasn’t Tyler, he didn’t notice every detail in each show, he didn’t agonize over everything being just right and he couldn't pick up all the slack. He could, however, take the brunt of Tyler’s bad mood instead of the crew, and earlier that day he had. After a bus ride that spanned from the early hours of the morning to the early portion of the afternoon, they had gotten to the venue and immediately dove into soundcheck. That was really when Tyler focused his understandably terrible mood at Josh.  _ Shut up, Josh. Could you be serious for once in your life? Let’s try to get this right this time _ . Everything he said had stung but Josh just reminded himself it was better that Tyler take it out on him than on the crew. He could handle it, he understood  _ why. _

He understood why the jabs, why the irritation, but he didn’t quite get why it felt so personal. He didn’t see why Tyler wanted nothing to do with him even when he was in a spell of semi-happiness. Josh tried to write it off as the result of no sleep, the result of fear and anxiety, but he seemed truly angry at Josh for tiny things. So when the show was over Josh left Tyler alone and didn’t offer to hang out. At the hotel, Josh went to his room and flopped onto the bed to mindlessly watch the X-files, and lucky for him, fall asleep at a decent time. They had the next day off and Josh was looking forward to it, maybe if Tyler could just get a little more sleep tonight they could go do something together.  _ Together.  _ He wanted more of that, more of them together. 

He pushed away the familiar feeling of longing. He was used to this action, of shoving away thoughts of Tyler because it was unrealistic and it only hurt him. While Tyler was the author of that longing, he wasn’t part of the story at all. Josh was the main character and he was alone in it. Alone and stupidly longing for his best,  _ straight _ , friend. His sexuality was the generally unexplored area of Josh’s life. Two people knew about it, Brendon and his sister Ashley. Ashley, since they were teenagers and Brendon on almost accident. But not Tyler.  _ Never  _ Tyler. He would have told him, but he feared what words would come with the admission that he’d never be able to take back. He wouldn’t,  _ couldn’t _ ruin their friendship, or the band.

Josh spent most of the night doing a terrible job of pushing away feelings. He eventually fell asleep over the covers, with the X-files still playing and his shoes still on. He was woken up he didn’t know how long later to the sound of a soft tapping at the door. He rolled out of bed and shuffled over to the door. He pulled the door open, expecting Mark or Brad but it was Tyler standing there. His elbow was resting on the doorframe with his head in that hand, rubbing his eye with his palm. He was in pajamas pants and a sweatshirt. 

“Why haven’t you come to check on me the last two days?” Tyler asked, his voice sounding weary but accusatory. Josh was taken aback and honestly, kinda irritated.

“Well tonight you made it perfectly clear you didn’t want to be around me so I went to bed. And yesterday you were trying to do your little routine thing.” Josh said, knowing he was over explaining and Tyler had probably stopped listening. 

“Made it perfectly clear? I-”

“Was a dick to me all night.” Josh said, but he stepped back to allow Tyler into the hotel room. Tyler had the air of frustration around him again, like he was on the edge of a breakdown from the lack of sleep. Tyler opened his mouth, as if he was going to argue and then he shut it again. He sank down onto the couch that was in the front of Josh’s room and then let his head fall into his hands. 

“I’m sorry, man. I’m really sorry,” Tyler’s voice sounded wet and shaky, like maybe he was crying. Josh wasn’t really angry, he had called Tyler out on poor behavior in response to getting blamed for something and now Tyler was crying and there was no way Josh could let him do that alone. Josh sank down next to him and tentatively put his hand on Tyler’s quivering back. 

“It’s fine, really, you’re tired.” Josh said. Tyler sat up suddenly, turning to look at Josh, his eyes were rimmed with red and his nose and cheeks were turning red too. Josh almost lost his breath, how could someone crying be so pretty? Josh swallowed as Tyler looked at him seriously,

“I don’t know what I’ll do if this keeps going for months again. I keep reminding myself that it isn’t chronic insomnia until it’s been three months of this crap. But it hasn’t even been a week and I can’t-I cant take it. What will I be like at three months of this!?” Tyler looked away from him quickly, as if this was too much, looking at him and talking about this was too much. They both knew what Tyler would be like in three months of this. They had both experienced this before with him. It wasn’t pretty but they got through it. 

“When this happened before, it was how long of consistently only getting a couple hours of sleep a night?” Josh asked.

“Eight months.” 

“But how many days a week did you only sleep 1-2 hours?” 

“Like...3?” 

“Well there you go, this is a particularly bad week. So even if, IF, this goes on for three months or more you’ll more than likely be getting more hours of sleep each week. And that’s  _ if _ this goes on that long. You could snap out of it tomorrow.” Josh said. Tyler gave him a look that showed all his skepticism. 

“I-” Tyler started, “You-” He glowered at Josh for a moment, “You don’t  _ know  _ that.”  He snapped. 

“No, but, no matter what...you aren’t alone, Ty.” Josh looked into his eyes for a moment. It was quiet for almost too long as Josh studied Tyler’s eyes and blush crept into Tyler’s cheeks but then Tyler broke his gaze away and cleared his throat. They had done their usual thing of sitting strangely close to each other on the couch and as Tyler moved back Josh became aware of their legs pressed into each others. 

“Thanks, Jishwa.” He said. “What time is it?” He continued, glancing around for a clock.

“3-” he broke off and looked at Tyler with slightly narrowed eyes, “You should stop worrying about the time when you can’t sleep, I’m sure it just stresses you out more.” Tyler didn’t answer, he sat back against the couch, his eyes half glazed over. 

“I just thought I was past this.” He said after a moment, as if he was continuing an old conversation, he sounded angry with himself and desperate. He was grappling with the fact that this old monster had reared its ugly head, all the things he had fought off seemed to be back and it was destroying him.

“I know, Ty.” 

“I thought…” he shook his head, “I thought I was happy enough, I was fulfilled enough, or...successful enough that night time wouldn’t be a problem for me anymore.” 

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” Josh couldn’t help but stare at Tyler’s lower lip as he ran his tongue across it absentmindedly. Tyler was quiet, his mind obviously somewhere else. In the quiet Josh tried to stave off the unsavory thoughts of his bandmate next to him. 

Tyler was trying to find courage to speak, he had an idea of what he wanted to say but he was scared of how it would come out. It had been his whole reason for coming here and he had been sidetracked because of the stupid crap that had come out of his mouth when he first got there. The silence stretched on and on. While it was comfortable silence between two friends, it seemed impenetrable to Tyler. The more he let it go on, the harder it seemed to overcome it and ask the question he had come here to ask. When it finally did come out it came out in a rush and nearly ununderstandable, 

“Canwegotobedtogether?”

Josh’s heart leapt and his stomach twisted and he just blinked a few times, he was sure Tyler just meant try to fall asleep together but he hadn’t been expecting it.

“Uh,” Josh said, his brow knit.

“I just think if...if I have someone with me who’s sleeping peacefully...someone I trust I might be able to sleep easier and I might not have the nightmares. Or if I do, I’ll like being around someone.” He explained in a hurry.

“Oh! Uh...yeah. Yes, of course!” Josh said. Tyler actually smiled and it melted Josh’s heart into a puddle. “I still sleep mostly naked, just so you know,” he warned him.

“I figured as much.” Tyler said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just...you know, keep your underwear on and we’ll be good.” He said with a nervous little laugh. 

“Can do, buddy.” Josh said. 

So the two of them went about moving to the bed, it seemed unnatural now which hurt Tyler as he remembered those nights that had been so nice all those years ago. They were just out of practice, he told himself. 

“You still sleep with all the blankets tucked in, don’t you?” Tyler asked, looking at the still tightly tucked blankets and sheets on the bed and thinking about the mess that was the bed in his room. Josh was busy kicking his shoes off but he answered him with a rye smile,

“Yeah, the only way to go, man.”  He tugging his shirt off over his head before shoving his pants down. Tyler’s mouth went dry and he noticed how focused his eyes had become, focused on Josh. He forced himself to blink to keep from gaping at Josh. He let out a perfunctory laugh, he was able to write it off as laughing at Josh’s ridiculous way of sleeping and not nervous laughter at the prospect of sleeping next to nearly naked Josh. He pulled the blankets up on his side of the bed and climbed in. Josh crawled under the blankets without pulling them out from under the mattress where they were tucked and burrowed down. Tyler curled up, he told himself he was about to fall asleep and so he needed to get comfortable and act like a night of good, deep sleep was near.

“Get some rest, Tyler.” Josh said as he reached over to turn off the lamp on the bedside table.

“I’ll try.” Tyler said. Silence fell between them and Tyler forced himself to keep his eyes closed for a while, partially because he was going to try his hardest to sleep and partially because Josh was so close to him and in a intense state of undress. The room was silent and dark. In the dark he felt shielded from reality. There were no prying eyes here. In the dark he could hide all his desires. In the quiet of the room he allowed himself to focus on Josh’s breathing, the steady sound of the in and out of his breath. Tyler managed to keep his eyes closed for nearly half an hour, he might have even drifted off for a while but the beginning of a nightmare shook him out of it and his eyes snapped open. 

Josh was turned away from him, the expanse of his muscular back exposed to him. He could hear his deep, even breathing and knew he was asleep. Again, he found himself jealous of the sleep but that feeling was overrun by the feeling in his gut. The bubbling excitement followed by his cock hardening in his sweatpants. He desperately wanted to reach out and run his hand over Josh’s soft skin but he held himself back. Maybe a touch of the hand was too much, but what if he just moved a little closer to snuggle him? He had said if he woke up from a nightmare it would be comforting to have someone he knew and trusted there. Wasn’t cuddling part of comfort? Hadn’t they done similar things a million times before? Tyler moved close to Josh who shifted slightly but didn’t go anywhere or wake up. Tyler leaned in and rested his head against the middle of Josh’s back and breathed in, the contact was as much of a relief tonight as it had been two days before on the bus. Tyler was heartened and moved his whole body against Josh’s back and stayed like that, shutting his eyes and breathing deeply. He smelled good, like some kind of deodorant and a smell that was all his own.  Maybe tonight he’d get more sleep. Maybe he’d sleep all night. 

Tyler slept for two hours and thirty one minutes pressed into Josh’s back that night. 

 

Night Six

“Tyler?”

“Hm?”

“Tyler, are you awake?” 

“I’m always awake now, Josh.” Tyler was sitting on the floor in the hallway with his back pressed into the hotel door. He had been there for a long time, unable to find the energy to go to the lobby to ask for a new key or to find Josh to get the spare key from him. He must have put his room key down somewhere and left it but he had no idea where that might have been. 

“Is he okay?” Mark was asking as Josh crouched down in front of Tyler and looked into his face. 

“I mean, I don’t know…” Josh said. 

“I’m fine, guys. Just tired.” Echoing the same thing he had told Josh on the first night of sleeplessness. Tyler’s eyes were staring blankly at the wall. “I wanna sleep.” Tyler said, his voice pathetic and lost. 

“You will, buddy.” Mark said but Tyler was frowning and shaking his head. He wouldn’t sleep. Sleep was gone. Remember? She had left him broken and abused. Every night she came back for an hour of fun and then vanished while he needed her still. 

“Turn off, turn off, turn off, turn off.” Tyler muttered to himself, willing his brain to just shut down. Josh was staring at him, lines creasing his forehead as he worried about his best friend. 

“Tyler, do we need to call a doctor or something?” Josh asked.

“What? No! Why would you think that?” Tyler asked, suddenly more alert and glaring up at Josh.

“Well because we found you collapsed outside your door.” Mark answered for Josh. 

“I’m tired. I lost my key. I am. Just. Tired.” Tyler insisted. The worried look wouldn’t leave Josh’s face. 

“Okay, let’s get you inside, come on.” Josh leaned over and took Tyler’s arm, which caused a spasm of happiness and profound loneliness in Tyler. He stood up and clutched onto Josh’s arm, refusing to let go even when he was steadily back on his feet. “I got it from here, Mark, you can go to bed.” 

Mark looked unsure but agreed and left the two best friends to get inside on their own. 

Josh opened the door with the spare key from his back pocket and took Tyler back into his hotel room. Tyler stayed clutching almost desperately at Josh’s arm as Josh walked him to the bed and got him lying down. 

“Stay a minute.” Tyler said. 

“Okay,” Josh sat down next to him, he looked down at Tyler. He wasn’t okay, Josh could see that, but things had been worse, things had definitely been a lot worse and they would get through it. Tyler could get through anything at this point and Josh would stay there with him. Tyler shut his eyes and in the security of Tyler’s fake sleep Josh reached his hand out and stroked Tyler’s hair back. Tyler didn’t open his eyes or move but Josh knew he wasn’t sleeping. Josh let his fingers brush through hair and then slip across his cheek for a moment. Josh listened to his breathing, to hear if it would even out, if maybe Tyler could drop off to sleep. While he hoped to get him to sleep he took the time to admire Tyler’s eyelashes brushing the top of his slightly pink cheeks, the way his lips pursed a little, and the softness of his brow. Josh couldn’t fight the longing while he was sitting there touching him. So he let it spill over in him. He didn’t ever find out when Tyler had fallen asleep but he stayed until he was so tired he couldn’t keep his own eyes open. As soon as he left, Tyler woke up, even though Josh had made sure the door didn’t make a noise as he closed it.

Tyler slept for exactly an hour that night. 

 

Night Seven

The anxiety had mounted all day. Tyler had got it into his head that if he went a full week with this amount of sleep, there was no going back. This would be his sleeping pattern forever now. It made him desperate and angry again. For the first time since the third night he contemplated physically hurting himself until he passed out. Bashing his head against the wall seemed like the best solution. He had been worked up over it since the morning, so much so that he had started to feel nauseous. So nauseous that the little he had been managing to eat over the last week reduced to nothing. He sustained himself on redbull and the thought of getting through the concert. Usually he looked forward to the shows, even when he was in his worst place. Even the days he had been so exhausted he could barely stand, he was exhilarated by the prospect of performing in front of the fans. Their enormous pool of friends. Tonight he was dreading it because he hadn’t eaten and he hadn’t slept and he was surviving on caffeine and sugar. 

Josh noticed and tried to force him to eat a sandwich. He couldn’t stomach even smelling it and his stomach gave a heave as Josh put it in front of his face. He tried a taste of hummus but it felt dry and tacky in his mouth. The show ended around eleven PM and, while slightly low energy, Tyler had managed to stay upright for it but he was angry at himself. 

“These people pay a lot of money and I go out there and act like that!?” 

“Tyler, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Josh insisted as they stood in their dressing room, waiting to get on the bus for their overnight drive. 

“No! I should be hard on myself! I need to be hard on myself because I need to kick this so I can...be..be better for them!” His breath caught in his chest and he could see stars around his vision. He blinked hard and took a step back, towards the couch. 

“Ty,” Josh said, reaching out for his arm, suddenly afraid Tyler might pass out. Tyler was silently willing himself to. But the black around his vision faded and he was left feeling  empty unfulfilled dizziness . “Tyler, you need to eat something, okay? Just...something easy like crackers or cereal” Josh insisted, looking around for a box of cheez-its or anything but there wasn’t anything in the room. 

“I can’t, my stomach hurts.” 

“Its cause your hungry.” Josh insisted.

“Its not.”

“You’re being stubborn.”

“Maybe I am!” Tyler snapped back like a petulant child. His breath still felt shallow and he was dizzy and so, so tired. Tyler started to get out of his show clothes, ready to get onto the bus and away from this venue, the venue of what he thought was a failed show. Josh let him be, throwing worried glances over his shoulder while he changed too. Tyler had gotten a pair of clean pants on and was searching for a shirt in his bag when he stopped and took a deep breath. He was starting to see stars again and he blinked rapidly, watching the black gathering around the outside of his vision. It didn’t go away this time though and in an instant he was falling. Josh glanced around a split second too late to grab Tyler as he fell to the floor. 

“Tyler!” Josh rushed over to him, falling to his knees next to him. Josh grabbed his arm and shook his shoulder. “Tyler,” he said again, panic set in and the twenty seconds that went by felt like five minutes. What if he didn’t respond? His mind produced a image of them rushing to the hospital, Josh clinging to Tyler’s lifeless hand. His stomach gave a heave at the thought. He could see Tyler breathing but in his panicking brain he didn’t realize that as a good sign. Josh took Tyler’s cheek and patted it sharply, “Tyler!” he said again. It felt like there were lifetimes going by while Tyler lay there, unresponsive to Josh shouting his name. Other words were caught in Josh’s mouth, he couldn’t think of what else to do but desperately try to rouse his best friend. Before Josh could even think to shout for help Tyler’s eyes were slowly opening, he was blinking and squinting up at Josh. Relief flooded through Josh, he was shaking from the adrenaline but at least Tyler was awake and...furious looking? Tyler was glaring at Josh as if he had just personally attacked him.

“No! No! No...I was supposed to sleep! Josh! Why did you wake me up!?” Tyler whined. Josh stared at him, he sounded delirious, his voice weak. Josh was stunned, what was he supposed to have done? Ignored that Tyler had fainted and let him lie there, passed out on the floor? No, he sounded more than delirious, he sounded like a moron. 

“I-I-you fainted, Tyler! You weren’t sleeping!” Josh said, incredulous that Tyler could possibly be angry at him. Tyler groaned and tried to sit up, “Don’t you dare sit up! Lay back!” Josh commanded. Tyler gave him a look but stayed lying down.

“I’m fine! I want to go to the bus.” Tyler said, still sounding irritated at Josh.

“I should make you go to the hospital.” Josh responded, moving from his knees to a crouching position, ready to stand up and go find Mark or someone to help him get Tyler out to the bus. 

“I am so fine, Josh. Stop acting like I’m fragile.” He snapped. Josh rolled his eyes, masking his real fear with irritation at Tyler’s stubbornness. 

“You need to eat, I’m going to get Mark and you’re going to eat once we get on the bus or I  _ will _ take you to the hospital.” Josh threatened. He stood up and headed out into the hallway, once he was away from Tyler and relatively alone he let his head drop into his hands. He let out the shuddery, sob-like breath he had been holding in. The adrenaline was making him sick now and he wished someone else had been there with them. He wished he could erase the image of Tyler falling to the ground, completely limp from his mind forever. He felt like he was going to throw up, tears burned in his eyes but he rubbed them away, trying to make sure he could remain a strong and decisive presence for Tyler. 

 

The next few minutes were a blur of trying to find Mark, explaining the situation, getting Tyler into a shirt and arguing with him about whether or not he could walk on his own to the bus. Josh and Mark managed to get him to to walk between them, both of them were braced to catch him if he was going to collapse again. Maybe they were were being over dramatic or paranoid but Josh would rather be accused of that than let Tyler get hurt. When they finally made it to the bus Mark didn’t hang around long, he made sure they were set up and then left, maybe he sensed they needed to talk or just had other things to do but Josh was thankful for the quiet of the bus when it was just them. Martin, their bus driver, would come eventually, but  the front was far enough removed that it could feel like they were alone. 

Josh moved around to the kitchenette, looking for food that Tyler would be willing to eat. “Crackers?” No answer. “Popcorn?” No answer. “Cereal and milk?” 

“Fine.” Tyler responded. Josh got a bowl and a spoon from the cupboard. He poured him plain cheerios, deciding those would be better than the Reese’s Puffs they had, and brought Tyler who was sitting on the couch, the bowl. Josh sat down next to him on the couch, turned towards him on the couch. Josh stared at his Tyler, partly because he was scared if he took his eyes off of him he’d faint again and partially because he actually wanted him to eat and not just pick at it. 

“I want to sleep.” Tyler said around a mouthful of food.

“I know.” 

“If you had just let me pass out, I could get a little time, an extra few minutes of sleep.” He whined, leaning over to put the bowl down. Josh stopped him and gently pushed it back into his hands.

“Eat.” he commanded. It seemed like it was going to down easier than Tyler expected so he didn’t put up a fight. “And that’s not how that works. Fainting is not sleeping, no matter how much you want it to be.” He said carefully. Tyler was quiet, except for the sounds of chewing. When the bowl was empty of cereal Josh took it and put it in the sink before returning to the couch. Tyler seemed too still, he was staring at nothing and then in a burst of movement and noise he said,

“I want to sleep. I want to turn off! Josh! I can’t do this,” He put his head in his hands, gripping at his hair. He tugged hard at the hair, feeling the sharp pull at his scalp. The tugging turned to tapping at his head which turned into beating his fists over his own head. “What is wrong with me?” He cried. “I was okay! I had been okay! I had been normal. Why am I not normal? I hate this, I can’t do this.”  he hit himself hard again and again and again until Josh realized what he was doing and grabbed his wrists, tugging them away from his face. This felt too familiar, horribly familiar and Josh wished more than anything he could take it all away from Tyler. 

“Stop! Stop...Tyler. I know it feels like it’ll be forever, but it won’t be. You’ll sleep again. It’ll happen and in the meantime...I’m here.” He held Tyler’s wrists away from him so he couldn’t continue beating them around his head. Tyler stared away from his best friend, ashamed that he was reverting to old actions, old, terrible coping mechanisms. 

“I want good dreams again. The tiny bit I’ve slept it’s been all nightmares. All those doubts, everything I hate about myself is coming back in those nightmares. I thought I worked so hard,” Tyler’s voice broke off as a sob cut through his words. He looked so pent up, his shoulders were tightened and his eyes were wild as he spoke. 

“You did work hard, but you will always have to work at it and sometimes there are setbacks and challenging times. It doesn’t mean you can’t fight through it.” Josh said. “And you aren’t alone. Let me help you,” he leaned in close to him, trying to will Tyler to see him as someone who could take some of this burden, “Please.” He added, Josh caught Tyler’s gaze and held it, unwilling to break eye contact. It felt so intimate to stare at him as tears pooled and spilled over.  Tyler’s face crumpled again and he looked away from Josh. 

“I’m scared of that,” He admitted, he wanted nothing more than to let Josh hold him, comfort him, work him through this but the closer they felt the stronger the  _ other _ feelings got and soon Tyler wouldn’t be able to deny it. He wouldn’t be able to write off the thoughts he had in the shower, the way he relaxed when his body was pressed against Josh’s, the way he slept slightly better when Josh was close to him. The wall that had been built between Tyler and Josh was becoming less and less opaque as this conversation moved forward, it was nearly see through.

“Scared of what?” Josh asked, he couldn’t fathom why Tyler couldn’t accept help from his best friend. All he wanted was to be there for him, be with him and make sure he knew that these feelings weren’t forever. A thought crossed his mind, the worst thought, Tyler realized Josh’s feelings for him and now he was uncomfortable, hated him for it. He didn’t want him touching him or hugging him or loving him in anyway. Josh’s heart leapt to his throat at the thought, no, no, no, please no. Tyler let out a pathetic whine, before sucking his lip into his mouth to try and keep the words in, but they were building, begging to come out. 

“Scared of letting myself feel what I feel,” He started but he had to stop to breathe, he was trying to control the sobs that he wanted to let loose. Josh was even more confused than before, he was slowly releasing Tyler’s wrists as he realized Tyler wasn’t about to start hitting himself again. “Josh, I...I sleep better when I’m next to you. I relax when I think about you. My brain can turn off the static, the voices telling me I’m not enough go away when you put your hands on me. I’ve had...these thoughts that I can’t even tell you about because they’re so wrong. You’re my best friend and you didn’t ask to be in my fantasies.”

“Fantasies?” Was all Josh could manage, his mouth had gone cotton dry. Was this really happening? Was this a dream? No. In Josh’s dream world, Tyler would have no pain, nothing plaguing his sleep. 

“I…I’m sorry.” Tyler looked down, shame coloring his cheeks and making him afraid to meet Josh’s eye. He was terrible, he had made Josh hate him forever. Why had he decided to tell him? Why had he told Josh this huge thing only seconds after admitting it to himself.

“No!” he said, almost too loudly.  Josh couldn’t take it, he couldn’t let Tyler be ashamed of himself for a second longer. Tyler jumped and looked up tentatively at Josh, expecting the worst. “Ty, don’t be sorry…” Josh said, he leaned forward towards Tyler and Tyler leaned back, unsure. 

“Wha-”

“Tyler…” Josh was very close to him, Tyler’s heart was beating so hard in his chest that it felt like it would rip right out. Josh was leaning in towards him and Tyler felt powerless to push back those feelings anymore. Before either of them could think about it for a second longer they both moved at the same time, their lips meeting. The kiss was only a few seconds without much movement but by the time they broke apart they both had to take deep breaths. 

“You aren’t straight?” Tyler asked, breathless, his face as red as Josh had ever seen it.

“No.” Josh said. “You aren’t either?” Josh confirmed.

“I guess not.” Tyler said. 

“Can I do that again? I’ve thought about it for a long time.” Josh admitted, his eyes moving over Tyler’s face, his own cheeks burning with excitement. Tyler nodded and Josh leaned into him and kissed him again, testing what it was like to move his lips against his best friend’s. Tyler responded enthusiastically, leaning up towards him as Josh’s hand grabbed the back of his neck. Their mouths opened and when Josh’s tongue touched Tyler’s it was like an electric shock pulsed through both of them and it spurred them on. Josh could feel Tyler’s breathing change, getting deeper, more excited. Tyler’s hands found their way to Josh’s back and he pulled on him, tugging him closer. Josh didn’t want to let it go, afraid that if he broke away the moment would fade away into nothing and Tyler would be gone in a puff of smoke. Tyler had never felt something that gave immediate relief the way that Josh’s touch did. When Josh held the back of his neck, or touched his cheek, it was like all static in his head turned off and all he could think about was how good their mouths felt against each other and how nice Josh’s tongue was. 

The excitement mounted and the kisses became deeper and deeper. They were tugging at each other, neither of them wanting it to stop but they heard a door slam and they ripped away from each other as they heard Martin whistling as he came onto the bus. There was a corner concealing them but they couldn’t stay here. 

“Bunk,” Josh said, breathlessly. Tyler nodded in agreement and after a brief greeting to Martin they retreated to the bunks. 

“Whose?” Tyler asked. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Josh said hurriedly. They crawled into Josh’s bunk as it was closest. There was barely enough room for the two of them but squishing together didn’t feel like a problem anymore. 

“I thought I was perverse for thinking of you like this,” Tyler managed to whisper as Josh kissed his cheek and then his jaw. 

“I thought if I told you I was bi that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from telling you how much I wanted you and then you would...be uncomfortable or hate me.” Josh said into his his skin, laying soft kisses along Tyler’s jaw. Josh’s eyes moved up to study the face of the boy he had longed for for so long. Tyler’s lips were bright pink from the kissing, his hair was a wreck, his skin was flushed, his eyes were bloodshot and there were deep bags under his eyes but Josh couldn’t get enough of soaking in how he looked. 

“I would never hate you,” Tyler mumbled. “You’re...my Jishwa.” He said, his lips splitting into a smile. Josh leaned into him and kissed him again. 

“You’re not perverse.” Josh told him, their lips centimeters apart. Josh could feel Tyler let out a breath and then Josh caught Tyler’s lips in his. In the dark and quiet of the bunk they kissed and the rest of the world fell away. They could feel the bus moving, they could feel the sway of it but it didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered except that they had finally admitted this to each other. Their kisses amped each other up again and Josh moved his leg between Tyler’s as they lay on their sides, kissing and groping at every part of each other they could get to. Josh’s hands moved from Tyler’s side to Tyler’s face, to his hair. Tyler’s hands ran up and down Josh’s chest. Josh pulled his mouth back long enough to roll Tyler onto his back, moving fully on top of him, their bodies pressed together. Josh didn’t want to be away from his lips for long so he spoke between his kisses,

“Ty...I want you to relax.” He said. Tyler grunted acknowledgement as he pressed his lips to Josh’s and opened his mouth to keep him there, their tongues moving against each other. Josh pulled back though,

“I am as relaxed as I’ve been all week,” Tyler said, and it was true. He hadn’t felt this good since the last time he had gotten a full night of sleep. He didn’t want to think too much about sleep though because he could feel the anxiety of not getting sleep sitting like a darkness at the edge of their happy bubble. 

“Good, but I think I could relax you more...maybe help you sleep.” Josh had sat back as best he could in the bunk while on top of Tyler. His hands trailed down from Tyler’s chest towards his stomach stopping at the waistband of his pants. “If you want me to.” He added, waiting for Tyler to understand what he was getting at. 

Tyler’s eyes widened, his cock that had already been straining at his pants gave a throb at the prospect of Josh maybe touching him. “I-”

“You don’t have to let me if you don’t want to.”

“I do! I just...don’t want you to expect it to help me sleep. I’ve tried masturbating to help me sleep. It didn’t work.” Tyler said, thinking about that night in the shower. 

“Well maybe it will help, maybe it won’t.” Josh said, “I still want to help you relax,” He leaned over him and kissed his lips again. 

“Okay,” Tyler said shakily. Josh grinned and moved onto his side next to Tyler, his hand trailing across his belly. Josh ran his fingers along Tyler’s treasure trail and over his hip bones that were exposed because of how low Tyler wore his pants. Tyler’s belly twitched under Josh’s hand. Josh leaned in and kissed his cheek before undoing the button on his pants. The zipper slipped down as Josh tugged Tyler’s pants open. Without being asked Tyler reached down and shoved his pants down around his thighs. Josh’s eyes moved over Tyler’s very prominent hard-on in his boxer briefs. 

“Tyler...” Josh breathed leaning down into him and kissing him again as his fingers trailed down to the fabric stretched over his cock and  he briefly ran his fingers over it. Tyler let out a sigh of excitement into Josh’s mouth and Josh couldn’t stop himself anymore. He moved his hand up to the waistband of his boxer briefs and tugged them back. In his haste the elastic slipped out of his fumbling fingers and snapped back against Tyler’s toned stomach. Tyler let out a sharp breath immediately followed by a whimpery moan as Josh finally got his hand around the base of his cock. “J-Josh.” Tyler gasped, his abs contracting as Josh slowly started to move his hand.

“Relax, Ty.” Josh hissed. “I’m going to take care of you.” He leaned into the crook of Tyler’s neck and kissed him there. Josh could feel him shuddering under his hand as he started to work his hand up and down Tyler’s cock. 

“Oh...Jeez...that’s...Josh...”  Tyler gasped. Josh found a steady rhythm and stuck with it, his fingers tightening around Tyler’s hard cock and pulling up and down. Tyler’s mouth was open and his chest moved up and down fast. He pressed his hips up towards Josh’s hand, wanting more, wanting faster, wanting, wanting, wanting.

Tyler’s mind was fully blank, all he could focus on was how good it felt and how warm Josh was. His very presence was warmth and it enveloped Tyler’s whole body. A string of whiny moans escaped his lips, he was very nearly begging for more as Josh moved his hand a little faster. Tyler managed to open his eyes long enough to watch Josh pull his his boxer briefs down so he could move his hand more freely. Tyler let out a moan as Josh wiped his thumb over the tip of his cock and spread the droplets of precum down the length of his cock. Tyler made grabby hands at Josh, “Let me...I want to make you feel good-” he gasped again and his voice nearly left him as Josh tightened his hand again.

“No, this is about you. You can get me later, let me take care of you, Ty.” He said, his voice floating back to Tyler as if from a different plane of existence. Tyler didn’t have the brain power to argue. His eyes rolled back and his eyelids fluttered shut as he melted back against the bunk.Tyler thought he heard Josh say, “Let me try something-” and his eyes opened again to see Josh sitting up enough to move lower on the bunk and wrap his lips around the head of his cock. The sight made Tyler tense up even more and give a full bodied groan,

“Oh! Josh! Oh...g-god!” Josh smiled for a second around Tyler’s cock as Tyler’s hand shot out and grabbed at Josh’s bright yellow hair, tugging at it. Josh licked the underside of his cock and started to take it farther into his mouth, he had barely made it halfway when Tyler let out a whine,

“Oh...Josh...oh god, Josh. I’m going to-I’m about to c-cum!” he grabbed at his hair and Josh pulled his head back, wanting to see it happen. Tyler’s whole body tightened, and his mouth fell open as he tipped over that edge. The orgasm shot hot tingles all over his body, making him see stars again. Tyler spasmed under Josh’s hand and came all over his own belly and onto the back of Josh’s hand. Josh smiled, stroking him through the orgasm until Tyler was shaking with over stimulation. There was quiet for a moment and then Josh laid down next to him. 

“Let me help you,” Tyler said, reaching out to feel the bulge in Josh’s pants. His voice was wrecked, he sounded exhausted. 

“No.” Josh said sternly. “Get me another time. Just...relax.” He whispered as Tyler curled up into his chest, not minding the mess on his stomach. Josh wrapped his arms around him as best he could in the tight space and kissed the top of his head. Tyler was sleeping in two minutes. Snoring. 

Things wouldn’t immediately be better, it would take time to fully get back into a normal sleeping pattern, but if Josh was around, right next to him, holding him through the night, Tyler could fight through it. 

Tyler slept curled up into Josh’s side for nearly eleven hours that night.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! It's my first time posting fanfiction anywhere soooo this is honestly a little scary for me.


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